Throughout my childhood and early teens my ability to play music was one of the most important things to me. I felt I was destined to be a professional violinist. At the age of 16, I started smoking pot, and my grades started slipping. I quickly stopped caring about school, and my parents noticed that something must be going on. They sent me to a psychiatrist who decided that I had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) - his explanation for my poor school performance.
My parents and the psychiatrist decided to have me start taking large doses of Ritalin. The first time I took Ritalin, I knew I was in trouble, because I felt better than I had ever felt before. However, as soon as the drug started wearing off, I had to have more - more at any cost. If I couldn’t get more Ritalin, I had to have some other drug to substitute for it. Within months, all I cared about was Ritalin, and I felt I could do anything if I had "it" and nothing if I didn’t.
I was still playing the violin, but it wasn’t as important to me as it once was. When I was 19, my parents thought I was getting high and gave me a drug test. This is how they came to know I was smoking marijuana. They sent me to a 12 step rehabilitation center, which I faked my way through.
As soon as I graduated the program, I was off to the races; I pawned my violin to get more drugs, and by this time I was using every and any drug I could find. Because I no longer had a violin, I started DJ’ing in night clubs and at raves and I was selling drugs and getting high 24 hours a day.
The more drugs I used, the less important everything else in my life became. I quit talking to my parents, I had no real friends, I had no responsibilities and often no place to live. I traveled around the country getting in trouble and getting high, and by the time I was 29, I had been shooting cocaine and heroin for nearly a decade, been in at least 10 rehabs and had absolutely no hope. I thought the one thing I was supposed to do in life was to get high and sell drugs. I knew sooner or later I would be arrested or die from an overdose, but that was okay with me.
When I was 30 years old, it finally happened. I was arrested and I went to jail. My lawyer recommended I go to another rehab, and he told me about a place called Narconon®. I did not want to get clean, but I wanted to get out of jail, so I agreed to go. By the time I got there, I had not played the violin for 12 years. I had no idea what it felt like to have hope, and just wanted to escape, to run from life and my legal problems.
Detox, while never pleasant, wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Narconon’s drug-free withdrawal got me out of my head, and before I knew it, I wasn’t thinking about drugs 24-7. The sauna program was one of the parts of the program that I will never forget. It was an amazing feeling to be free of all the harmful toxins and drug residues that my body had been storing for all those years. I could think clearly again.
One of the students in the program had a violin, and I began playing music again. Music came back to me quickly and I learned how to communicate with others again. I saw what was really happening around me. Narconon taught me how to live again! How to hope and fulfill my dreams! The staff were friendly and supportive and I made life long friends. I still had legal issues, however I now knew that I had the ability to face these challenges and no matter what the outcome, I knew I would be okay.
During my time at Narconon Arrowhead, I regained the ability to play music, I rekindled my relationship with my family, I learned who I was, and what I wanted to be. After graduation, I stayed in Oklahoma, teaching music and talking to kids in schools about the dangers of drug use. I was the happiest I had ever been. It has been 2 years since I quit doing drugs, and now I love life.
I finally took care of my legal issues. I was sentenced to 2.5 to 5 years in prison. I am writing this from my jail cell. Little did I know it, but while at Narconon I gained the ability to confront any situation and be okay in it. Even though prison isn’t where I want to be, I know what I am capable of, and what I will be doing when I get out. I am still amazed that not only have I been clean for more than two years, I have absolutely no cravings for drugs!”
M. G., Narconon Arrowhead Graduate
(January 15th, 2007)
Contact the nearest Narconon in your area
and get professional help:
info@narcononeu.dk
